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Dreamweaver
[Music. Enter divers Friends at several doors.]
First Friend
The good time of day to you, sir.
Second Friend
I also wish it to you. I think this honourable lord did but try us this
other day.
First Friend
Upon that were my thoughts tiring when we encountered. I hope it is not
so low with him as he made it seem in the trial of his several friends.
Second Friend
It should not be, by the persuasion of his new feasting.
First Friend
I should think so. He hath sent me an earnest inviting, which many my
near occasions did urge me to put off; but he hath conjured me beyond
them, and I must needs appear.
Second Friend
In like manner was I in debt to my importunate business, but he would
not hear my excuse. I am sorry, when he sent to borrow of me, that my
provision was out.
First Friend
I am sick of that grief too, as I understand how all things go.
Second Friend
Every man here’s so. What would he have borrowed you?
First Friend
A thousand pieces.
Second Friend
A thousand pieces!
First Friend
What of you?
Second Friend
He sent to me, sir—here he comes.
[Enter Timon and Attendants.]
Timon
With all my heart, gentlemen both! And how fare you?
First Friend
Ever at the best, hearing well of your lordship.
Second Friend
The swallow follows not summer more willing than we your lordship.
Timon
[_Aside_.] Nor more willingly leaves winter, such summer birds are men.
Gentlemen, our dinner will not recompense this long stay. Feast your
ears with the music awhile, if they will fare so harshly o’ th’
trumpet’s sound; we shall to’t presently.
First Friend
I hope it remains not unkindly with your lordship that I returned you
an empty messenger.
Timon
O, sir, let it not trouble you.
Second Friend
My noble lord—
Timon
Ah, my good friend, what cheer?
Second Friend
My most honourable lord, I am e’en sick of shame that when your
lordship this other day sent to me I was so unfortunate a beggar.
Timon
Think not on’t, sir.
Second Friend
If you had sent but two hours before—
Timon
Let it not cumber your better remembrance.
[The banquet brought in.]
Timon
Come, bring in all together.
Second Friend
All covered dishes!
First Friend
Royal cheer, I warrant you.
Third Friend
Doubt not that, if money and the season can yield it.
First Friend
How do you? What’s the news?
Third Friend
Alcibiades is banished. Hear you of it?
First And Second Friends
Alcibiades banished?
Third Friend
’Tis so, be sure of it.
First Friend
How, how?
Second Friend
I pray you, upon what?
Timon
My worthy friends, will you draw near?
Third Friend
I’ll tell you more anon. Here’s a noble feast toward.
Second Friend
This is the old man still.
Third Friend
Will’t hold, will’t hold?
Second Friend
It does, but time will—and so—
Third Friend
I do conceive.
Timon
Each man to his stool with that spur as he would to the lip of his
mistress. Your diet shall be in all places alike. Make not a city feast
of it, to let the meat cool ere we can agree upon the first place. Sit,
sit. The gods require our thanks:
You great benefactors, sprinkle our society with thankfulness. For your
own gifts make yourselves praised, but reserve still to give, lest your
deities be despised. Lend to each man enough, that one need not lend to
another; for, were your godheads to borrow of men, men would forsake
the gods. Make the meat be beloved more than the man that gives it. Let
no assembly of twenty be without a score of villains. If there sit
twelve women at the table, let a dozen of them be as they are. The rest
of your foes, O gods, the senators of Athens, together with the common
lag of people, what is amiss in them, you gods, make suitable for
destruction. For these my present friends, as they are to me nothing,
so in nothing bless them, and to nothing are they welcome.
Uncover, dogs, and lap.
[The dishes are uncovered and prove to be full of lukewarm water.]
Some Speak
What does his lordship mean?
Some Other
I know not.
Timon
May you a better feast never behold,
You knot of mouth-friends! Smoke and lukewarm water
Is your perfection. This is Timon’s last,
Who, stuck and spangled with your flatteries,
Washes it off and sprinkles in your faces
Your reeking villainy.
[Throws water in their faces.]
Timon
Live loathed, and long,
Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites,
Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,
You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time’s flies,
Cap-and-knee slaves, vapours, and minute-jacks!
Of man and beast the infinite malady
Crust you quite o’er! [_They stand_.] What, dost thou go?
Soft! Take thy physic first; thou too, and thou!
Stay, I will lend thee money, borrow none.
[He attacks them and forces them out.]
Timon
What, all in motion? Henceforth be no feast
Whereat a villain’s not a welcome guest.
Burn, house! Sink Athens! Henceforth hated be
Of Timon man and all humanity!
[Exit.]
[Enter Timon’s Friends, the Senators with other Lords.]
First Friend
How now, my lords?
Second Friend
Know you the quality of Lord Timon’s fury?
Third Friend
Push! Did you see my cap?
Fourth Friend
I have lost my gown.
First Friend
He’s but a mad lord, and nought but humours sways him. He gave me a
jewel th’ other day, and now he has beat it out of my hat. Did you see
my jewel?
Third Friend
Did you see my cap?
Second Friend
Here ’tis.
Fourth Friend
Here lies my gown.
First Friend
Let’s make no stay.
Second Friend
Lord Timon’s mad.
Third Friend
I feel’t upon my bones.
Fourth Friend
One day he gives us diamonds, next day stones.
[Exeunt.]