So, sirs. Now go some and pull down the Savoy; others to th’ Inns of

Court; down with them all.

I have a suit unto your lordship.

Be it a lordship, thou shalt have it for that word.

Only that the laws of England may come out of your mouth.

[_Aside_.] Mass, ’twill be sore law, then; for he was thrust in the

mouth with a spear, and ’tis not whole yet.

[_Aside_.] Nay, John, it will be stinking law, for his breath stinks

with eating toasted cheese.

I have thought upon it, it shall be so. Away, burn all the records of

the realm. My mouth shall be the parliament of England.

[_Aside_.] Then we are like to have biting statutes, unless his teeth

be pulled out.

And henceforward all things shall be in common.

My lord, a prize, a prize! Here’s the Lord Saye, which sold the towns

in France; he that made us pay one-and-twenty fifteens, and one

shilling to the pound, the last subsidy.

Well, he shall be beheaded for it ten times. Ah, thou say, thou serge,

nay, thou buckram lord! Now art thou within point-blank of our

jurisdiction regal. What canst thou answer to my majesty for giving up

of Normandy unto Mounsieur Basimecu, the Dauphin of France? Be it known

unto thee by these presence, even the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I

am the besom that must sweep the court clean of such filth as thou art.

Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in

erecting a grammar school; and whereas, before, our forefathers had no

other books but the score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to

be used, and, contrary to the King, his crown, and dignity, thou hast

built a paper-mill. It will be proved to thy face that thou hast men

about thee that usually talk of a noun and a verb, and such abominable

words as no Christian ear can endure to hear. Thou hast appointed

justices of peace, to call poor men before them about matters they were

not able to answer. Moreover, thou hast put them in prison, and because

they could not read, thou hast hanged them, when indeed only for that

cause they have been most worthy to live. Thou dost ride on a

foot-cloth, dost thou not?

What of that?

Marry, thou ought’st not to let thy horse wear a cloak when honester

men than thou go in their hose and doublets.

And work in their shirt too; as myself, for example, that am a butcher.

You men of Kent—

What say you of Kent?

Nothing but this; ’tis _bona terra, mala gens_.

Away with him, away with him! He speaks Latin.

Hear me but speak, and bear me where you will.

Kent, in the Commentaries Caesar writ,

Is termed the civil’st place of all this isle.

Sweet is the country, because full of riches;

The people liberal, valiant, active, wealthy;

Which makes me hope you are not void of pity.

I sold not Maine, I lost not Normandy,

Yet to recover them would lose my life.

Justice with favour have I always done;

Prayers and tears have moved me, gifts could never.

When have I aught exacted at your hands

Kent to maintain the King, the realm, and you?

Large gifts have I bestowed on learned clerks,

Because my book preferred me to the King.

And seeing ignorance is the curse of God,

Knowledge the wing wherewith we fly to heaven,

Unless you be possessed with devilish spirits,

You cannot but forbear to murder me.

This tongue hath parleyed unto foreign kings

For your behoof—

Tut, when struck’st thou one blow in the field?

Great men have reaching hands; oft have I struck

Those that I never saw, and struck them dead.

O monstrous coward! What, to come behind folks?

These cheeks are pale for watching for your good.

Give him a box o’ th’ ear, and that will make ’em red again.

Long sitting to determine poor men’s causes

Hath made me full of sickness and diseases.

Ye shall have a hempen caudle then, and the help of hatchet.

Why dost thou quiver, man?

The palsy, and not fear, provokes me.

Nay, he nods at us, as who should say, “I’ll be even with you.” I’ll

see if his head will stand steadier on a pole or no. Take him away, and

behead him.

Tell me, wherein have I offended most?

Have I affected wealth or honour? Speak.

Are my chests filled up with extorted gold?

Is my apparel sumptuous to behold?

Whom have I injured, that ye seek my death?

These hands are free from guiltless bloodshedding,

This breast from harbouring foul deceitful thoughts.

O, let me live!

[_Aside_.] I feel remorse in myself with his words, but I’ll bridle it.

He shall die, an it be but for pleading so well for his life. Away with

him! He has a familiar under his tongue; he speaks not i’ God’s name.

Go, take him away, I say, and strike off his head presently; and then

break into his son-in-law’s house, Sir James Cromer, and strike off his

head, and bring them both upon two poles hither.

It shall be done.

Ah, countrymen, if when you make your prayers,

God should be so obdurate as yourselves,

How would it fare with your departed souls?

And therefore yet relent, and save my life.

Away with him! And do as I command ye.

The proudest peer in the realm shall not wear a head on his shoulders

unless he pay me tribute; there shall not a maid be married but she

shall pay to me her maidenhead ere they have it. Men shall hold of me

_in capite;_ and we charge and command that their wives be as free as

heart can wish or tongue can tell.

My lord, when shall we go to Cheapside and take up commodities upon our

bills?

Marry, presently.

O, brave!

But is not this braver? Let them kiss one another, for they loved well

when they were alive. Now part them again, lest they consult about the

giving up of some more towns in France. Soldiers, defer the spoil of

the city until night; for with these borne before us instead of maces

will we ride through the streets, and at every corner have them kiss.

Away!