Outline
Characters
Dreamweaver
[Enter Chorus.]
The Chorus
Vouchsafe to those that have not read the story,
That I may prompt them; and of such as have,
I humbly pray them to admit the excuse
Of time, of numbers, and due course of things,
Which cannot in their huge and proper life
Be here presented. Now we bear the King
Toward Calais; grant him there; there seen,
Heave him away upon your winged thoughts
Athwart the sea. Behold, the English beach
Pales in the flood with men, with wives and boys,
Whose shouts and claps out-voice the deep-mouth’d sea,
Which like a mighty whiffler ’fore the King
Seems to prepare his way. So let him land,
And solemnly see him set on to London.
So swift a pace hath thought that even now
You may imagine him upon Blackheath,
Where that his lords desire him to have borne
His bruised helmet and his bended sword
Before him through the city. He forbids it,
Being free from vainness and self-glorious pride;
Giving full trophy, signal, and ostent
Quite from himself to God. But now behold,
In the quick forge and working-house of thought,
How London doth pour out her citizens!
The mayor and all his brethren in best sort,
Like to the senators of th’ antique Rome,
With the plebeians swarming at their heels,
Go forth and fetch their conquering Caesar in;
As, by a lower but loving likelihood,
Were now the general of our gracious empress,
As in good time he may, from Ireland coming,
Bringing rebellion broached on his sword,
How many would the peaceful city quit,
To welcome him! Much more, and much more cause,
Did they this Harry. Now in London place him;
As yet the lamentation of the French
Invites the King of England’s stay at home,
The Emperor’s coming in behalf of France,
To order peace between them;—and omit
All the occurrences, whatever chanc’d,
Till Harry’s back-return again to France.
There must we bring him; and myself have play’d
The interim, by rememb’ring you ’tis past.
Then brook abridgement, and your eyes advance
After your thoughts, straight back again to France.
[Exit.]
[Enter Fluellen and Gower.]
Gower
Nay, that’s right; but why wear you your leek today?
Saint Davy’s day is past.
Fluellen
There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things. I will
tell you ass my friend, Captain Gower. The rascally, scald, beggarly,
lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and yourself and all the world
know to be no petter than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is
come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday, look you, and bid me
eat my leek. It was in a place where I could not breed no contention
with him; but I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I see him
once again, and then I will tell him a little piece of my desires.
[Enter Pistol.]
Gower
Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.
Fluellen
’Tis no matter for his swellings nor his turkey-cocks. God pless you,
Anchient Pistol! you scurvy, lousy knave, God pless you!
Pistol
Ha! art thou bedlam? Dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
To have me fold up Parca’s fatal web?
Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of leek.
Fluellen
I peseech you heartily, scurfy, lousy knave, at my desires, and my
requests, and my petitions, to eat, look you, this leek. Because, look
you, you do not love it, nor your affections and your appetites and
your digestions does not agree with it, I would desire you to eat it.
Pistol
Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.
Fluellen
There is one goat for you. [_Strikes him._] Will you be so good, scald
knave, as eat it?
Pistol
Base Trojan, thou shalt die.
Fluellen
You say very true, scald knave, when God’s will is. I will desire you
to live in the mean time, and eat your victuals. Come, there is sauce
for it. [_Strikes him._] You call’d me yesterday mountain-squire; but I
will make you today a squire of low degree. I pray you, fall to; if you
can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.
Gower
Enough, captain; you have astonish’d him.
Fluellen
I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or I will peat his
pate four days. Bite, I pray you; it is good for your green wound and
your ploody coxcomb.
Pistol
Must I bite?
Fluellen
Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question too, and
ambiguities.
Pistol
By this leek, I will most horribly revenge. I eat and eat, I swear—
Fluellen
Eat, I pray you. Will you have some more sauce to your leek? There is
not enough leek to swear by.
Pistol
Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see I eat.
Fluellen
Much good do you, scald knave, heartily. Nay, pray you, throw none
away; the skin is good for your broken coxcomb. When you take occasions
to see leeks hereafter, I pray you, mock at ’em; that is all.
Pistol
Good.
Fluellen
Ay, leeks is good. Hold you, there is a groat to heal your pate.
Pistol
Me a groat!
Fluellen
Yes, verily and in truth you shall take it; or I have another leek in
my pocket, which you shall eat.
Pistol
I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.
Fluellen
If I owe you anything I will pay you in cudgels. You shall be a
woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but cudgels. God be wi’ you, and keep
you, and heal your pate.
[Exit.]
Pistol
All hell shall stir for this.
Gower
Go, go; you are a couterfeit cowardly knave. Will you mock at an
ancient tradition, begun upon an honourable respect, and worn as a
memorable trophy of predeceased valour, and dare not avouch in your
deeds any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and galling at this
gentleman twice or thrice. You thought, because he could not speak
English in the native garb, he could not therefore handle an English
cudgel. You find it otherwise; and henceforth let a Welsh correction
teach you a good English condition. Fare ye well.
[Exit.]
Pistol
Doth Fortune play the huswife with me now?
News have I, that my Doll is dead i’ the spital
Of malady of France;
And there my rendezvous is quite cut off.
Old I do wax; and from my weary limbs
Honour is cudgell’d. Well, bawd I’ll turn,
And something lean to cutpurse of quick hand.
To England will I steal, and there I’ll steal;
And patches will I get unto these cudgell’d scars,
And swear I got them in the Gallia wars.
[Exit.]